Ftroop’s “Succulent Scrumptious Scrambled Eggs”:
1 – Open two eggs per person – including some shell fragments from each egg.
2 – Mix it all up, add copious amounts of butter, oil , and whatever is left over from the night before.
3 – Add one shot of So-Co.
4 – Turn on high heat, add one can Dinty Moore beef stew.
5 – Mix and heat until congealed into a mass that will make a turd.
6 – Add 10 to 12 onions.
1 – Cut up potatoes, black spots, dirt, bugs, mouse shit, and all.
2 – Soak (fully immerse) potatoes overnight in oil till fully absorbed, and mouse shit dissolves. Make sure you use old, stale, cheap vegetable oil. Important: Use one pair of hunting boots to keep oil soaked spuds immersed.
3 – Cut into large pieces, 10 large onions. Maybe 12.
4 – Pour more oil, then add one-half, to two pounds of butter in pan. Add oil.
5 – Place onions next, with more oil into pan.
6 – Cook over low heat till ALL oil is absorbed. Add more oil if needed.
7 – Add one and one half can of Dinty Moore beef stew.
8- Turn up heat till potatoes crisp, burn, and catch fire.
9 – Drizzle with oil to extinguish fire, and serve with topped, cooked, burnt onions.
(Reserve room in the shitter.)
F-Troop’s “Mega Meatloaf”:
In a uncleaned grinder:
1 – Grind mule skin, hair and tail. (If a buck is used, add balls and ears for flavor)
2 – Grind mice, as trapped and collected. If no mice are available, substitute with several cigarette butts. Cigar butts are optional, but not necessary.
3 – Look in the back of the fridge for anything blue or green, or moving. Add as necessary and adjust for flavor.
4 – Add 10 to 12 large onions, make sure they’re cut in pieces to enhance flavor.
5 – Combine this with leftover homefries, scrambled eggs, lasagna, and Leaddog’s underwear, and one of Spikes socks. Right or left will do.
6 – Fold ingredients until well mixed.
7- In a large pan, add oil. (10w30 synthetic)
8 – Create an object from the mixing’s to what’s akin to a cinder block.
9 – Top with a mixture of onions and one can of Dinty Moore Beef stew.
10 – Cook at 500 degrees until both the bottom and top are burnt to a crisp.
11- Serve with “Mercury Biscuits” and oiled onions.
F-Troop’s “Great Good-Christ Gravy”! (Serves 10-12)
1 – Mix one can Dinty Moore stew, one cup So-co, and moldy beer from the swill can.
2 – Bring to a rolling boil, add some chopped onions, and oil.
3- Whisk in one more can Dinty Moore beef stew until dissolved, with some more oil.
4 – Cover and simmer till moldy beer and oil combines, and turns a light green color.
5 – Serve generously over Mercury biscuits and Mega-Meatloaf!