Desserts

Pie Whore Eating Pie

What’s a cookbook without dessert recipes?!

Following is the beginning of the dessert recipes. Any great meal is deserved of a fine dessert to finish! Especially after a hard day in the woods!

F-Ttroop’s “Pie Allah Commode”

(Pre-planning is a must to end up with this fine food fare!)

1 – Five cans Dinty Moore stew. Cans must be left undisturbed for at least one full year in the sun on a windowsill to generate the desired results.
2 – Three gallons vanilla ice cream – Ice cream must be left in fridge, through at least 10 freeze-thaw cycles.
3 – Open carefully at both ends of the can, all of the stew.
4 – Place the mass that comes out of the can onto a plate, without disturbing it an any manner.
5 – There should be at least three distinct layers present, meat, fat, and an unknown.
6 – Separate the fat layer from the others, which should be in a gelatinous form. Keep in one piece. Use the other two leftover phases for any dish in the cookbook as desired.
7 – Take the ice cream which should be in the same condition – phase separation.
8 – Remove the separate, lighter portion of the ice cream, as with step 6.
9 – Combine the two now separated portions together, forming something that looks like Cannon threw up.
10 – Whip until frothy.
11 – Add onions as desired.

Enjoy with a warmed So-Co toddy!

F-Troop’s “Cross the Creek Classic Cookies”

Classic cookies from grandma’s kitchen, with a twist!

1- Measure 2 cups flour, (sift out mouse shit – save for topping)
2 – Open 1 can Dinty Moore Stew – any flavor.
3 – Combine in large bowl, stew and flour.
4- Mix in 1 “half-mug” of last nights left over beer, and 2 shots So-Co.
5 – Add 2 pounds butter, and any left over “Homey Homefries”.
6 – Mix until combined.
7 – Cut 2 large onions into small pieces, combine with sifted mouse shit. Set aside.
8 – On a axle greased sheetpan, scoop out a serving of batter with a mouse trap. Leave caught mouse if present, for added flavor enhancement.
9- Turn oven to 654 degrees, place pan with future “cookies” in oven.
10- Cook until consistency of Mercury Biscuits is obtained.
11- After cooling, place a dollop of topping (onions and mouse shit) on each cookie.
12- If you make it TO the creek without either shitting yer pants, or puking like Cannon, you’re good to go!

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